Older people with a positive outlook on aging live seven-and-a-half years longer than those with a negative view. To benefit from this, we need only notice the stories we’re telling ourselves about old age and, if they’re negative, change them.

Aging as Continuous Decline or Positive Growth?

There are two general ways of looking at life as an older person, and which one we choose will determine the quality of our old age. They are the decline and positive narratives of aging.

The decline narrative emphasizes all the things we need to give up now that we’ve reached 65, 70, 80, or 90— all the downsides of aging and all the reasons why we should put ourselves out to pasture.

We eventually must give up running, hiking, driving, drinking, going to college, riding a bike, surfing, dancing, business, ambition, and having fun.(Okay, the last one was in jest).

We will have to give up all these activities, but if we only focus on the things we have to give up, we’ll be like prisoners doing hard time.

The problem with the decline narrative is that it’s untrue. It emphasizes all the unpleasant aspects of aging while ignoring the latest research, which shows that anyone with a positive view of aging, young or old, will live longer and happier.

How we think about aging is critical. We get to choose the stories by which we live and age —stories of continuous decline or positive growth.

We Aren’t Sheep

Putting us “out to pasture” is, in my view, a way to get us out of sight, out of mind, so we don’t scare younger people by reminding them of their future.But I’m not ready to be put out to pasture just yet.

We aren’t sheep, spending our senior years munching on grass while younger folks dine on fried chicken and white wine. And I don’t appreciate being likened to a domesticated animal.

We don’t have to retire and spend our days sitting in God’s waiting room, killing time until St Peter calls our name. We can do something we want to, no matter what anyone else says. With a cane? Yes. In a wheelchair? Yes.

Imagine your ideal life two years from now. How will you be living? What will you be doing? How will you feel? Are you imagining a positive future or a negative one?

Harmful Aging Stereotypes

A University of California professor asked his first-year medical students to write down the first words that came to their minds when he used “elderly” to describe a person.

“The most common responses included wrinkled, bent over, slow-moving, bald, and white hair. Many also wrote weak, fragile, feeble, frail, or sick. Some used words like wisdom. Others chose sad, stubborn, and lonely.”

We’re up against hundreds of years of ageist stereotypes used to pigeonhole us. Getting rid of them is like playing Whac-A-Mole — new stereotypes are popping up everywhere we look, especially in advertising.

I hope the first word people use to describe me in old age is wise.

Imagine Your Positive Future

Here is a simple and brilliant planning tool I learned from Biz Stone in his book Things a Little Bird Told Me: Creative Secrets, from the Co-Founder of Twitter.

“Visualize what you want to see happen for yourself in the next two years. What is it? I want to have my own design studio. I want to join a startup. I want to make a cat video that goes viral on YouTube. (Can’t hurt to aim high.)

As you’re working out or going for a walk, let that concept bump around in there. Don’t come up with anything specific. The goal isn’t to solve anything.

If you take an idea and just hold it in your head, you unconsciously start to do things that advance you toward that goal. It kinda works. It did for me.”

— Biz Stone

My Visualization

I want to become a talented, “must-read” author on this platform and inspire thousands of seniors to live more mindful lives. I want to create a Substack newsletter and do the same there.

I rise early, meditate, and write all morning. I nourish my health in the afternoon by walking and working out. I know I’ll do this because it is just an expanded version of what I’m already doing, and I love what I’m doing.

I love Biz Stone’s idea because it’s not just creative visualization or the law of attraction. It’s what every successful person does, consciously or unconsciously. Biz Stone, a co-founder of Twitter, has the credentials that give his planning tool great credibility.

Taking an idea or a goal and just holding it in your head, you’ll unconsciously start doing things that advance you toward your goal—it’s like seeding your consciousness to make it rain success.

Gary
December 2024