It all came to a head when we were married a couple of years. His son now lived with his grandmother and was over eighteen. I found out that you could see your credit history online. I told Eric I was going to pull up ours.

Eric looked at me, shocked that this was possible. Then he confessed to me that he had taken out credit cards in his name, which his son had been given the liberty to use. I couldn’t believe he had done this behind my back. What a violation of trust in our marriage!

When I found out the total spending exceeded $50,000, I was so livid that I had to stay the night at my daughter’s place. When I returned, there were many screaming matches. He could not see that he had ruined the trust in our marriage.

Also, I wanted those cards paid off. We saw a lawyer who said the best we could do was to have his son sign notes promising to reimburse us. I noticed that most of the credit card charges were cash advances. To this day, we don’t know what he spent all that money on.

The credit cards were closed, but the debt and the interest would be horrendous if it was paid off monthly. I withdrew a portion of my father’s inheritance to me and got rid of the debt. Then, I set up a schedule for my stepson to pay me back. He paid back about $10,000, but the rest he still owes to this day. He is not getting a cent from me when I die.

Things were hostile on the home front, so I went to Florida, where we had another house. I stayed there for over a month and talked to Eric by phone weekly. We finally decided to go to marriage counseling when I returned.

Venting the hostility in a professional atmosphere was constructive. Eric still could not see that what he had done was so wrong. He had told the counselor that he felt guilty for all the years he drank, and he felt giving credit cards to his son was a way to make up for it. I knew his son was trying to get every last penny he could out of his father, but Eric didn’t see it.

With the counseling, Eric started to see the truth of what he had done and the toll it had taken on our marriage. He told me he would never give his son another cent, but could I ever believe him?

About six months later, I was talking to a good friend on the phone. We had lived near each other at one time, but remained close. Her husband had been unfaithful to her when she was pregnant some years before. The emotions she had were similar to mine: the loss of trust, the uncontrollable anger, and the added issue of having another woman involved.

I remember she would vent to me, and I would listen. I asked her what made her stay in the marriage. She told me that their marriage counselor had told her she had to decide either to stay or go. She decided to stay, and somehow, their marriage got stronger.

I told Eric I decided to stay in the marriage. He had to prove to me that he could be trusted, and he has done so. I fully control our finances and look at our credit reports regularly, even to this day, almost 30 years after the event. I am no dummy.

One thing Eric did for his son was get him into Verizon 25 years ago, where Eric had been in management. His son still has the job today, but being that his son is in and out of rehab due to an alcohol addiction, his job is frequently on the line.

He is married, and his wife is an addict, too. We don’t live in the same state as they do and never see them, which is a blessing. Eric speaks to him when he calls, but his son never asks how Eric is. He has no concern for his father. It is all about him like it’s always been.

I am glad I gave our marriage a second chance. It has been worth it. That was our marriage’s roughest time, and it got stronger. Through this marriage, I became a woman I had only dreamed of being. Eric encouraged me to do so, and I did the rest.

We enjoy each other’s company, support each other’s goals, and are there for each other in times of need. With my recently broken wrist, I could not have managed without him.

We have both stayed sober for 33 years through the ups and downs of marriage. That in itself is a major miracle.